It’s been a dream of mine for many years to own a Corvette, lately a 2003 Corvette z06. Past versions of the dream involved me parked on a quite street in my Corvette with a very busty blond to keep me company. It’s been updated a little, swap that busty blond with my fiery red-haired wife and take us from the quite street to cruising on Sunday night.
The older I get the more realistic this dream becomes but now that I’m over 30 (yikes!) it’s becoming harder and hard to justify the purchase of a Corvette. I mean really, my poor sexagenarian parents could hardly be expected to fit in the Corvette z06 on their frequent (sometimes too frequent) visits into the big city. The wisdom of my advanced years makes me see that a two-seater sports coupe could hardly be considered practical.
Aging parents bring on a whole new set of issues and I’m sure they would balk at the idea of being driven in the Corvette, even a cherry red 2003 z06 with 405 raging horses under the hood. Old as they are they have the typical aches and pains of being over 60, compounded with my mother being menopausal (typical for someone of her generation), arthritic (again typical), and also suffering from multiple sclerosis. It’d be a little tight with Mom on Dad’s lap, and not that nice a visual, and Mom’s scooter strapped to the trunk of the corvette.
As long as it’s a convertible, never mind a corvette, Mom would be all for it. It’s my father who’s the fussy one. He grumbles at the bumpy ride my Jeep Wrangler gives and all together detests the feel of the wind in his not so full head of hair. The testosterone driven horse power of the corvette carries no seduction for him either as he’s more impressed by canyonesque storage and a baby stroller ride.
I’ve been intrigued by Chevy’s hot little classic ever since my first automobile, a 1979 dodge omni. It was a typical first car, $300 at the MPIC auction, rusty, and as reliable vegan rottweiler.
I was of course obscenely excited by the freedom my new acquisition granted and being an obsessive person I began thumbing through the repair guides at the local Canadian Tire as well as making trips to the local public library. My excitement wore off at the library after reading that year’s (I believe it was 1988) copy of the “Lemon-Aid Car Buyer’s Guide”. The description read:
My heart sank.
Of course what did I expect for $300 other than something very cheap to buy. Feeling dejected I began looking at what this so called guide considered a good car.
They didn’t seem to be very excited about American cars that year. The Chevrolet Camero did have a somewhat favorable blurb:
What really stuck in my mind was the glowing review of the Chevrolet Corvette. There were some grumbles of the 1983 to 1987 Corvettes related to some body panel rattle that seem to develop after a few years but the authors at the time said that the Corvette was the best used car to purchase.
The advantages being that this is a really well built car, even for an American car of those days, performs well, handles exceptionally well, and the Chevrolet 350 engine makes parts easy to find and affordable. Added to the fact that almost any grease monkey can repair almost any mechanical issue the Corvette owner would experience.
The reasoning for the high praise beyond the above mentioned attributes revolved around the fact that most used Corvettes are single owner vehicles that were babied. I imagined the typical first owner of a Corvette as someone who paid a lofty price for an automotive aphrodisiac who successfully found a woman, impregnated her (most likely not intending too) and had to park the coveted chick magnet in the garage whilst always planning on getting it out on the road.
Eventually the realization sinks in, usually after the second child (granted I’m purely speculating here), that a car seat will never fit and a mini van is in order. A very sad and dejected man than accepts the realities of his age and situation and puts a minty Corvette (hopefully my 2003 z06) for sale on LemonFree.com.
While highly impractical the 2003 Corvette z06 is very desirable for the single thirty-something man that I was not too long ago. The image of scantily clad women hugging the hood, though unlikely to happen, is too much of a draw for what should be a very good value in a used car.
The rising Canadian dollar also makes the Corvette more attractive. I can purchase a 2003 Corvette from the US for around $30,000 USD, which is now approximately 32,000 CAD. This is way more appealing than the poor exchange rate of a few years back.
… for now I’ll just keep dreaming of 405 brazen horses and my bikini clad wife laying across the hood.